Saturday, June 1, 2019

Epilogue


     I have been home for about two weeks now.

All photos included in this post were taken at Stromovka park.
This one features me out of focus by some flowers.
     The process of reacclimating was quick, probably only took a couple of days. I had this post in mind before I even left Prague, but I wanted some time away to provide me with clarity and perspective. That, and this symbolizes the end of my experience. The chapter is done, I have to move on and prepare myself for the next. I have been listening to albums that I had on repeat while I was over there (Alvvays by Alvvays, Endless by Frank Ocean, Vessel by Frankie Cosmos) in an attempt to bring up the associated memories and feelings and help me write this, but the feeling is weird. It's almost too recent to be sentimental about, but maybe I was never that invested in the first place. 

Nice lavender bush (?)
Also not sure if this is in focus oh boy
     A number of people have asked me the generalizing question of "How was it?" I don't blame them, I'd probably do the same, but four months is a long time, and I would feel like I was being untrue to myself and my time abroad if I just gave it a simple "Good," or "Bad," or even the shirking "It was whatever." So I allude to the nuance of my time away: I briefly describe how there are the to-be-expected series of highs and lows, and how the overall outcome was growth-- but that's not enough to convey the levels of my experience. I soon realized my efforts could never be enough, and that's simultaneously okay and necessary, for that experience is wholly my own and some things can only be felt by the person going through it.

Sike, I got bored of the park photos, this was taken nearby though.
     I was speaking with someone about this at CMC's graduation, just a day and a half after coming home, and he imparted upon me that the way and rate at which I am developing due to my experiences-- in college in general and especially going abroad-- is something I cannot relate with my parents, for whom the past four months were primarily business as usual. That's just the way things are, but that does not have to be the end of the story. In reconvening with people (parents and otherwise), and looking through these... "brand new eyes", we learn about each other's experiences and gain added insight into our respective personhoods; why we are ((or are becoming)) the way we are.
The club I went to my first weekend there.
Did not have the best time and left early, did not know how trams
worked at night so I waited 45mins out in the cold for the wrong tram,
the one I got on ended up hitting a cop car so everyone had to get out and
I just walked the rest of the way back to my apartment.
of the way back to my apartment.
     A question I have received less is "Are you glad you went abroad?" During the latter half of my time there I was convinced the answer was yes, but I could never be certain if I was happy with my decision because I had no other option. If I had stayed on campus I would have tried to be an RA, a position I really wanted, but one that was not guaranteed. Regardless, I wanted this experience, and my "what ifs" would ring much louder in my mind if I had not taken this opportunity. Would I recommend it? Well, there are definitely lessons and experiences that I know I would not have had if I had just stayed on campus, some just by virtue of being so far from home. I believe that such would be the case if anyone spent long enough in a country that is foreign to them. But how necessary those lessons/experiences are is up to you.

Where I got my film photos developed. Shouts out.
     One of my first interactions with fellow students in the program was someone who said that they had never been to California. As someone who was born and raised in Los Angeles, and attends college only an hour away, this was hard for me to wrap my head around. I'd left the state a number of times before, but no one has ever vocalized to me how unfamiliar this place I call home is to them. And that interaction was with a fellow American, my concerns for how my interactions with Czech people would go were only mounting after that. It ended up being fine, for the most part we only interacted when it was necessary (shopping, restaurants, school staff), one could say I had less robust experience due to this but I dare say it was for the best. I was not too willing to go out of my comfort zone and make local friends that I would have leave in a couple of months anyways.

Street corner near my apartment.
Yes that says Erotic City.
     Now that I am home, I do not think about my time there too often. But I am still learning from it. Only recently was I able to understand what I meant by something I had said in a disagreement while I was still over there. Yeah, hindsight is 20/20, but I also have to acknowledge that I am still processing everything that the past four months meant to me. There's nothing I particularly miss  about being there, but there are aspects of my time there that I have a great appreciation for. Like the public transportation system; trams are ridiculously useful. I anticipate this to go on as I begin the next chapter of my life this summer-- sidebar: this was probably the most clearly defined chapter my life has had thus far, but maybe I am just being naive--, and there'll be another spike as I return to Claremont for my senior year in the fall.

Filmová a televizní fakulta Akademie múzických umění v Praze//Film and TV School of the Academy of Performing Arts in Prague//
FAMU
The fifth oldest film school in the world. My school for the past four months.
     I wonder about five years from now. The period of time is arbitrary, but what will I think of my abroad experience then? Will I often look back upon it with fondness? Will it benefit me in the career I have chosen? Will I cross paths with people I met there? Time will tell and I am looking forward to it.
Back to the park, so awesome how the terminal stop for these trams
are actually in the park.

Thank you for reading my blog.    -Isaiah