Something in the Water (?) || My Goodness What Did I Eat

I'll be sparing you the details.

     I think I am going to be sticking to just Czech food. Some of the more regional foods that I have tried (namely one from a Chinese place and another from a burger place) have done a number on my gastrointestinal system. The first time I figured could happen to anyone, and once it was done, it was done.

The Chinese restaurant culprit.
(I often forget to take a photo of my meal before I actually start it)

And honestly, I don't blame the meal. As they say, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

     The quesadilla I had from this burger place last night though.

I was sussed out by it initially because it featured barbecue sauce instead of the more tomato or avocado-based toppings that are near and dear to my heart, but I ordered it nonetheless. It was a decent meal, not particularly memorable, but I was left wishing I had ordered something else. I did not really feel the effects of it until a few hours after the fact, and it has just been the gift that keeps on giving in the time since.

Part of me does not want to jump to conclusions and accuse this quesadilla of something I cannot be 100% sure it is responsible for, but another part of me feels extremely vulnerable after these past 24 hours and is clamoring for something to place this blame onto. This food poisoning (yikes, big claim, but I did not name any restaurants so there's no libel) has thwarted all of my attempts to remedy it, and is roughing me up as I type this, and if it continues for another 24 hours I am going to see someone about this foolishness.

Sadly, before this, I thought I was on the up and up. I had been feeling feverish Saturday evening (after spending most of the day inside) and it came with the chills/heat/sweats combo throughout my slumber, but once that had subsided I went from feeling like a feeble baby bird to an invincible young man. All that only to be brought down by a weird ass quesadilla. Life abroad is different.

Always pack Tums and whatever else, my friends.

"Not Visibly Czech"

Of Course I Am Going To Talk About Race 

     The title of this post was something someone said to me while we were eating, regarding the undue amounts of attention the cohort I was traveling with was getting, myself in particular. Also, in the program, I think there are only four Black girls, with three in the film program, and only one other Black guy (I could be wrong, I did not ask for his ethnic background but it isn't visually obvious), while I am the only one in the film program. In one of the videos showed during orientation, it was stated that arguably 90% of the Czech Republic's population is ethnically Czech. I am not seeing the entire country, and I am staying in a tourist locale, but even then, it is a very white country. I believe I listed this as one of my worries in my first blog post about this experience. I am not going to ruminate too heavily on the ways this manifests in my day-to-day interactions, but rather, on the insidious manner it colors my interpretation of the world around me.

People in Prague stare, a lot.

They stare for whatever reasons, like if someone is talking on the tram, for example. I have gotten a decent number of stares, and I stare back. Why? Because the position of the watcher is always one of power. It is voyeuristic. It is also a challenge, and if it goes unacknowledged I am allowing them to casually carry on from their removed perch of superiority. Staring back shows that I am not an object of attention, that I, too, have a gaze, a piercing one that I am unafraid to use.

....but what if they're not staring at me because of that? I can't know for certain if I don't ask, right? This back-and-forth of what if is what has colored the more questionable interactions I have had since I came into my racial socialization.

Take, for example, this morning: It honestly looked like two different grown men took photos of me on their phones within a 10 minute span. And I am not the type to press someone about this and make a scene. So maybe they just happened to have their cameras pointed in my direction and were looking at the screen, right? And so the cycle continues. It's a dizzying gaslighting sequence that I could go without, but I know that there are far too many people that feel a similar way, in one way or another. Let me apologize ahead of time if I am overstepping my bounds, but from what I have heard from a number of my women friends, it is like how their interactions with men are colored a certain way. With this all in mind, Black women deserve exponentially more credit than they are given.

Truth is, you get used to it and get used to the world around you. At home, abroad, wherever, white supremacy is an ailment of our societies, and the cure has to be brought out from within.

So I stare back, random person in a restaurant, wherever we are, because I take pride in you sheepishly smiling and looking away, knowing that I've won, I've made you look me in the eyes and realize that there is a real person, 20 years of life, highs and lows, love and loss, looking right back at you and your own life. 

A Week in Prague || Týden v Praze

Before we begin I must acknowledge that my previous playlist, En Route Sp '19, was not good. My apologies. Maybe I just thought I could throw together songs from diverse backgrounds and it would be good, sigh. I didn't even put any effort into their order, you deserve better.

Hello!

     Hoowee. Trying to make this a blend of thoughtful writing, an accurate representation of myself, a diary, stream of consciousness, and something that is relatable, while still trying to have a point lol.

Firstly, I am in Prague. Made it safe, the flights were long but it's all done now. The apartment is nice, I am still trying to figure what to do with my dirty laundry besides keeping it in a pile beside my bed, but that's my most realistic option right now.

This past week (starting Friday, then Monday - Thursday) was a Czech language intensive, culminating in a midterm today but I know I did well so hey, cheers I guess lol. Learning the language was actually kind of .... fun? But then again how much of that feeling is just because I was good at it? Anyway I have been talking for a while here are some photos:

On the left is a photo I took on my first night, thought it was cool. I know the bottom two words are "fruits" and "vegetables", apparently the top two are meant to describe the type of store it is, like a small grocery store. Just think of it like a corner liquor store but with more essentials, I suppose. On the right is a street near
Národní divadlo, the National Theater. The next picture is of the National Theater itself (couldn't fit the entire thing in the photo give me a break I'm sorry. There's ballets and operas held here (or so I've been told) so I am hoping to check that out at some point.

The spacing on this is weird, I couldn't quite figure how to do this cleanly. The following two photos are of the Vlata River, which divides Prague into its east and west constituents, featuring Prague Castle (Pražský hrad) in the background... and then it's the exact same photo, only 10x better :)

Onto the Nitty Gritty:
Food - is interesting. Really heavy. So it's nice as a comfort food during the chilly winter but I have started to order salads every once in a while when I eat out just to help my body out lol.
It's wild just trying to eat and keep myself sustained; someone would always be making dinner back at home, I'm on the meal plan at school, so this is my first time ever really having to feed myself. I usually eat out or stay inside and have cereal, but stay tuned for the Adventures of Chef IT.

Beer - Stuff I kept hearing before I got here was that the beer was superb here and that it was cheaper than water. I can attest that the latter is true, but I cannot tell the former because I just don't like beer. Part of it is that I haven't really had a taste for carbonated drinks since cutting out soda for high school cross country. The other part  of it is that, apparently, beer is an "acquired taste", that takes something of practice to enjoy? This'll sound crass but it's just not a taste I am trying to acquire, my sugar addiction-fueled love of juice will suffice.

Nightlife - I am a boring fella. Never really been a partier or clubber, but for the first time I felt fomo (fear of missing out) during the weekend when everyone was exploring the bar/club scene in the city. So I went as well, for a night. I confirmed who I was and went home after a couple hours lol. I think it is good that now I can say I did it, and won't feel like I am missing out on anything that I do not already have an idea of/know how I feel about.

Cell - T-Mobile has this simple Global plan and that's been useful since I can be reached at the same number, but that has been less helpful in that the data is slowed down to 2G, which is sometimes not useful when I need to use Google Maps or some other app to navigate. Plus it is hard to break away from my prior life (not to say I'm trying to put everyone in my past, but I need to be oriented toward my current experience) when my number is the same and I'm still getting spam calls from random telemarketer fools.

People - the people in the program and my roommates are cool! I am glad, the social aspects are so important to the experience I have and I was worried about this beforehand, but everyone is in a similar place as I and trying their best to make friends. Plus, it's always helpful when you have shared interests.

Academics - film classes start tomorrow I think. Which is exciting and intimidating because I feel like I just do not know enough, but this is the start of a journey to knowing and growing! And dare I say that the Czech language is easier to learn than it looks? I would say it is somewhat straightforward, but let's see how I feel about that in two months.

All things considered, it has been a solid week. I definitely get a little tight in the chest when I think about how I still have four months left here, and simultaneously feeling like that is not enough time to do all that I want to do, but I just have to take a deep breath and trust in the decisions that I make for myself.

Here's A New Playlist for ya: Mám hlad
(The title is Czech for "I'm hungry" because I'm hungry to do better, you feel me? As always, some of the songs are explicit, listener discretion is advised)

Off Once More/The Morning Of/Study Abroad Spring '19

Currently:

Packing, stressing over what to take and what to leave, pushing everything else regarding the next four months to the back of my mind; frazzled.

But it's all good!

(For those of you that have not visited this blog before, I also used this when I went on a road trip with my father in summer 2017, feel free to check that out and see how I've progressed along this journey from boy to man since then)

Now, please allow me to reintroduce myself...

I'm Isaiah, a current junior at Claremont McKenna College in Claremont, CA. I will be studying abroad in Prague, Czechia ((the official English short name of the Czech Republic -- this was registered voted on and registered in 2016; in Czech these names are Česká republika and Česko) (Wikipedia))  for the next for months through CET - Film Production at FAMU, the Film and TV School of the Academy of Performing Arts in Prague.

At this point in time I want to thank all the people that have helped me get this far, from the love and support of my family and friends, to all of the wonderful people at CMC [deans/bosses/professors/friends], the people at Determined to Succeed, the people at All Ways Up, and every teacher I had.

I am a product of public schools-- LAUSD pre-k through 12th-- and am proud of UTLA for standing up and walking out for the benefit of their students!

Oh yea, we've got opinions over on this side.

I know there's bound to be people I forgot, but you are appreciated regardless, and if you're taking the time out of your day to read this, I thank you too.

phew... time for the introspective stuff

I woke up from a nap last night, knowing it was my last night at home, feeling dread. And that was reassuring, believe it or not, because it's a definite emotion. It signals feelings of potential homesickness, fear of the uncertain, and wariness of what is to come. And it is good to know where you're at.

This is a daunting excursion for a number of reasons:

-furthest and longest time away from home by myself

-focusing on just one subject, that could be an indicator of what I end up doing with my future

-socializing and meeting new people that will serve as my most physically proximal community for four months

-working in groups (large part of the program is working on a short film with three others for the duration of the semester)

-it's a whole new country and culture

So I made a list of my worries/what could go wrong, so I could better organize my thoughts and face the beast head on, this is most of it (I forget sometimes, what can I say):

-being in an unfavorable group for the short film

-getting there and realizing that I don't want to do this at all... and realizing that I have 3.8 months left

-pickpocketers/theft

-interacting with strangers that could inflict harm to me

-just being a naive tourist

-being Black abroad

-weather (snow and not seeing the sun)

-lack of sun

-having to cook for myself

-plane failure

-something happening at home and me not being readily available to address it

-realizing that film is not what I want to do, then feeling lost

-losing my luggage

But when I was discussing this with a dear friend, she pointed out to me that there is importance in power in how we structure our thoughts, and sometimes it begins with the question we ask...

So here is a list of what could go right:

-STUNTING - I don't think y'all understand the excuse this gives me to wear sweaters that would usually gather dust in my closet. I also bought some new stuff so you already know I'm going to show out.

-being creatively actualized

-a collaboration process that brings out the best in me and my peers

-cheffing it up

-learning about film

-meeting cool, new people with shared interests

-growing my little scraggly, incomplete beard

-exploring new cultures and countries

It's remarkable how the latter flows out just as easily as the former. That is a good sign.

So, my friends, what questions do you ask yourself?

ALSO:

I've got a playlist going for my ride there (10hr 45min to France, 2hr layover, 1hr 40min to Prague), nothing special, just songs that I have been listening to as of late or some that came to me in the moment. Feel free to listen along and let me know what you think/how you feel
(disclaimer: some of the songs are explicit, but hey)

Here's the link:

En Route Sp '19